a year ago
Randomly, I’ll go through periods of my life where I have an urge to watch the same movie over and over again. Ususally its something like Girlfriends or Sex in the City series but lately it has been Last Holiday with Queen Latifah and LL Cool J.
I guess its not difficult to draw parallels between why I love this movie and my own life—I am currently at a crossroads much like Queen Latifah’s character in the movie. Thankfully, mine is not induced by a life threatening illness.
I am currently expecting our first child and lately have been feeling less than satisfied professionally. I am starting a new chapter and it has forced me to re-evaluate everything in my life, as of late. I have lost that loving feeling I used to get waking up every morning, working hard for someone else’s dream while my dreams sit on the back burner. I am tired of telling myself, “soon come”, while the realities of bills, student loans, and health insurance make the decisions for me.
My favorite part of the movie is when Queen Latifah’s character liquidates all her assets and finally takes that dream trip, throwing common sense to the wind. While it may not be practical for her to blow all her money on an extravagant trip, first class tickets, and gorgeous clothes; neither is denying herself the permission to live fully and completely.
I see my upcoming motherhood as a second chance for me as well. Becoming responsible for someone other than myself has forced me to think about things I never considered; changing work schedules, day care vs. baby sitter, exploding diarrhea. This is my opportunity to start anew, to create a life that makes not only me happy but will make my kid proud of his parents. There is always a reason not to pursue our dreams. But when will the right time come, when we are being buried by our loved ones? After retiring from a so-so job in 30 years? Or now?