The audacity of hope

The audacity of hope

The audacity of hope

2 years ago

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Editor's note: This is an old post that I dug up from the archives but it is so fitting for how I'm feeling these days.

I have always loved that title. Who are we to hope for love, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, and to live in a world where we are judged on our character before our skin color?
I have always been a glass half- empty type of girl; always waiting for the other shoe to drop, for the fitting punishment I was sure God would heap on my head for my sins.

When I was younger, the only way I could get through anticipation was by psyching myself out. I would tell myself over and over that I didn’t deserve that A, wasn’t pretty enough, or would never see my dreams fulfilled in the hopes that I would somehow be proven wrong.
Or at least prepare myself for the reality that most people never see their wildest dreams come true.

When I dated my previous, “whatever-you-call-them” I would tell myself that this would be no Cinderella Story and I was right each time. They showed their ass, they cheated and I was alone again.
When I started dating my now husband, I lived in constant fear that something would happen to him because there was no way I was deserving of this love. There was no way I could grow old with someone who truly understood me, made me laugh, and hugged me when I spontaneously started crying.

Who wants to live their life in constant fear? Who wants to spend their lives working at a dead end job with not even a glimmer of something better on the horizon?

My husband once told my mother one of his goals and she brushed him off saying, “I don’t know anyone who’s ever done that.”
Is that not the point? You long for something and work towards it hoping that one day your dreams will come true despite the fact no one else has done it.

What if President Obama had waited for someone else to become the first Black President? Would we still be waiting?

So here is hoping that our wildest dreams will come true and even if they do not, at least we can die knowing we tried.

Brenda Fadeyibi
Brenda Fadeyibi
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